Anonymous asked you: 2012-07-13 01:56 You’re not a bitch, sweetie. I love you and think you’re a great person! Try not to let the mean anon get you down and remember that i love you (:
Hey I think you’re pretty close to perfect <3 Try to smile and remember people love you (:Anonymous
I wished that I believed in Heaven
See my URL is from a song. Seven Digit Pin Code, by the Format. It’s about a boy who followed a girl home, then took pictures of her undressing. This first part of the song is from the boy’s point of view. “and oh, take off your clothes. Stand by the window so I can see the scar that sits below your navel” That scar could be from a c-section, or it could be her navel itself (although that seems unlikely due to the fact it says below your navel). But I can sympathize with the boy. The boy has no social skills. He thought the girl was beautiful, but he didn’t know how to approach her. He saw her standing under a bar light, and he had to know her, haad to tell her she was beautiful, in the only way he knew how. “it’s hard to make a friend When it’s too hard to put down the lense” The boy was killed by the girl’s father. They foud his body in the river.
The second part of the song is from the girl’s point of view. It talks about how the boy ruined the last sixteen year of her life, those pictures were horrible. Her innocence was ruined.
It’s a tragic story for both sides, and I presume the girl feels like everything she touches dies. She is the root of this entire problem. But like me, she doesn’t believe in heaven, especially after this. “My innocence must have caught his eye” I know how she feels. I was violated. Believe me, it was not bad. It was over the clothes, and I thought the boy was cute and I was in seventh grade. But what he was doing was wrong and I asked him to stop and he did not. Even though it really shouldn’t be a big deal, it is. I am afraid to touch people now. That combined with all the other things, it is really bad. I get anxiety, and depression, and I feel alone, and lonely, and I often don’t feel I should live. And god damn it, I wish I believed in heaven. I wish I had some faith like that, something to hold onto so that no matter how bad things got, I would always have God and heaven to back me up. To know what happens after the death I have so often thought about. I don’t know what to believe in, I don’t have any thing to help me. I mean, I am trying to be in a religion. The Gods I believe in are the Greek gods. I do. I believe they can exist. But in a smaller part of my life, like they aren’t controlling everything. I believe in each and every one of us being in control of our own lives. But I believe that there are those gods out there that keep an eye on us. But I really don’t know. Maybe that is just a fifteen year old trying to get into heaven. I wish I believed in something like that. All of this is paper. It isn’t permanent. We are not invincible or infinite. But I wish I was.
